Update

Sooooo as of around 4 or 5 days ago, I was put on new medication for my thyroid. My levels weren't really responding to the previous pills so they switched me to this natural stuff which is pretty cool. Anyway, my mom was looking up my new medication alongside the old, finding reviews other people made on switching from the old to new and side effects and how it improved a lot of things. One of the positives was that while the old pill tended to increase mood swings, the new one decreased them, making a lot of people feeling happier and better with the natural medication.

I'm not sure if this is the reason, but this week I've felt so much better. Just mood-wise really. For the first time in a loonngg time, last night I felt the need to hug my mom. Not just as like a routine, more of like a need. Like I really wanted to be with her and talk to her and let stuff out to her, have her there. It was really great and I just hope it doesn't go away.

When I get angry, I tend to lash out at my parents. Then I feel so guilty afterward, but not sorry if that makes sense. I just feel like I'm so mad and even though I know there's absolutely no reason for it, I can't control it. That's why this was such a big deal and still is. Mood swings are the worst and yeah...they're normal for woman, but like once a month and this was basically a constant thing. I'm so irritable a lot of the time, but this week that just hasn't really been the case. So I'm guessing it's the meds and I hope it is so it could explain my previous irrational anger.

Cause it's not like I'm an angry person. I almost never get in fights with friends. It's extremely rare. I'm really easy-going, I love to laugh, I'm happy to be alive and learn and succeed and everything. I'm a happy person. But when it came to family, there was just so much that bothered me. When honestly...I consider my family like the best ever. Extremely unique. Talented. Hilarious. Nurturing and loving and caring. One of a kind and I'm so blessed to be a part of it. Yet simple, teeny tiny things could set me off. I felt on edge. And now...it seems gone. Out of nowhere. And I'm really loving it.

School's been a pain, but I'm not really complaining (yet). I'm on top of things. Not behind (yet). I got an A's on all 4 summer essays for AP US which was niiiiiiiice. 5 minute in-class essays suck though. I cannot write under pressure. Mrs. Ring is still super annoying. She reminds me Prof. Umbridge from Harry Potter. Not in the evil sense, but everything has to be just so, ya know? Religion is pretty SWEET. English iS AMAZING. Oh my goodness, I love Mr. Brown. He's such a good English teacher and I'm only on my first week of school. Chemistry is good so far, but I'm nervous for labs to start. Bleh.

I have a field hockey game tomorrow in Montpelier. I'm pumped. I am now a defensive player:)

I had a campus min. meeting tonight so I couldn't go to youth group, but I really don't have money to go to the fair anyway so that would not have worked out.

My dad is in Canadaaaaa.

I must go work on homework.

~M

PS: I miss my lurve.